Text editing

Editing on WikiofScience- Index » Text editing

Text formatting presents the rules and tips for editing text in a way that is clear, concise and coherent. ( You may be also interested in these related links: Basic text formatting, Text management, Text hyperlinks )

Make your pages simple to read, and express your ideas clearly, in a way that flow nicely along the page. Avoid also redundant information, clutter, etc. This applies to the content of any audio-visual support, as well.

You can write clear sentences easily by using your main characters as subjects and express their main actions as verbs. By doing so, you also improve the flow of ideas.

Eg - The Director decided to terminate the program. (Instead of, There has been an affirmative decision for program termination).

You can reduce unnecessary or redundant information, and clutter, by eliminating metadiscourse, obvious information, redundant words, etc.

Eg - During that time, the mucous membrane became pink and shiny. (Instead of, During that period of time, the mucous membrane area became pink in color and shiny in appearance.)

Here are some tips for achieving a better writing style. The tips are taken from Williams's books (1990¹ & 2003²) on how to write with clarity and grace. As Williams summarises it, "Readers find writing to be clear, direct, and readable to the degree that they find central characters in subjects, old information in topics, and points at the ends of issues; when they find crucial actions in verbs, new and important information in the stress, and certain points at the ends of discussions" (p.108).

William's model for writing with style rests on the relatively fixed structure of paragraphs and sentences:

The typical structure of an English sentence is Subject + Predicate (verb + complements)	SUBJECT	PREDICATE
The first part of a sentence introduces a topic and the last part gives stress	TOPIC	STRESS
The first part of a paragraph¹ introduces an issue and the last part discusses it	ISSUE	DISCUSSION

Writing, thus, is done by adding variable elements onto such fixed structure:

	SUBJECT	PREDICATE
Clarity improves when main characters are subjects and their actions are expressed as verbs	characters	actions
	TOPIC	STRESS
Cohesion and emphasis improve when sentences start with short, simple, familiar or less important information, and finish with long, complex, new or important information	short/ simple/ familiar	long/ complex/ new/ important
	ISSUE	DISCUSSION
Coherence improves when main points are at the end of the issue or, alternatively, at the end of the discussion	point	(point)

Writing clear sentences

The typical structure of an English sentence is Subject + Predicate (verb + complements)	SUBJECT	PREDICATE
Clarity improves when main characters are subjects and their actions are expressed as verbs	characters	actions

Use your main characters as subjects of your sentences, and express their main actions as verbs.

Eg - The Director decided to terminate the program. (Instead of, There has been an affirmative decision for program termination.)

In the first part of a sentence, express key actions as verbs instead of as nominalizations (many nominalizations end in -tion, -ment, -ence…).

Eg - Many voters oppose nuclear power plants. (Instead of, There is opposition among many voters to nuclear power plants.)

More tips on clarity:

Keep your subjects short, so that the verb appears as quickly as possible.

Eg - The appendix explains in full why the model cannot accommodate this particular case of omitted variable bias. (Instead of, A full explanation of why the model cannot accommodate this particular case of omitted variable bias is given in the appendix.)

Reduce unnecessary passive verbs (i.e. unless the passive is the natural and correct choice).

Eg - The partners broke the agreement. (Instead of, The agreement was broken by the partners.)
But "By March of 1945, the Axis nations had been essentially defeated. The borders of Germany had been breached, and both Germany and Japan were being bombed around the clock." - Here, the passive is the natural and correct choice, without affecting clarity negatively.

Reduce unnecessary compound noun phrases by disassembling them into a sentence.

Eg - …misdiagnosing disordered thought in young children. (Instead of, …early childhood thought disorder misdiagnosis.)

Writing cohesive paragraphs

The first part of a sentence introduces a topic and the last part gives stress	TOPIC	STRESS
Cohesion and emphasis improve when sentences start with short, simple, familiar or less important information, and finish with long, complex, new or important information	short/ simple/ familiar	long/ complex/ new/ important

Cohesion refers to flow, to a sense that ideas flow easily along the paragraph and along the whole text.

Begin sentences with information that is either familiar to the reader (ie, information already introduced or information you can assume the reader knows) or information that is simple and easier to understand.

Therefore, end sentences with information that readers cannot anticipate, that is new or that is complicated.

Eg 1 - This example shows cohesion achieved by starting new sentences with information introduced in the previous sentence:
Some astonishing questions about the nature of the universe have been raised by scientists studying black holes. A black hole is created by the collapse of a dead star into a point perhaps no larger than a marble. So much matter compressed into so little volume changes the fabric of space around it in profoundly puzzling ways. (Instead of, Some astonishing questions about the nature of the universe have been raised by scientists studying black holes. The collapse of a dead star into a point perhaps no larger than a marble creates a black hole. So much matter compressed into so little volume changes the fabric of space around it in profoundly puzzling ways.)

Eg 2 - This example shows that words related to others mentioned previously can be used for cohesion, as they may not appear as surprising or new to the reader:
Some astonishing questions about the nature of the universe have been raised by scientists studying black holes. Astronomers have recently reported that black holes are key elements in the formation of galaxies.

More tips on cohesion:

Using your main characters as subjects normally creates cohesion (as your characters become familiar information from the start).

Eg - "By March of 1945, the Allies had essentially defeated the Axis nations. American, French, and British forces had breached the borders of Germany and were bombing both Germany and Japan around the clock."

If you have long subjects with new information, try changing the sentence around as to put the new information at the end of the sentence.

Eg 1 - Using passives: These observations have been confirmed by astronomers familiar with the problems raised by quasars. (Instead of, Astronomers familiar with the problems raised by quasars have confirmed these observations.)

Eg 2 - Switching subject and complement: As for abortion, it is not clear how the Supreme Court will rule. (Instead of, It is not clear how the Supreme Court will rule regarding abortion.)

Eg 3 - Create introductory clauses that allow you to break up a long subject into two or more sentences: If a discovery proceeding closes and an attorney then uncovers documents that might be even peripherally relevant to the matter of the proceeding, he must notify both the court and the opposing attorney immediately. (Instead of, An attorney who uncovers after the close of a discovery proceeding documents that might be even peripherally relevant to a matter involved in the discovery proceeding must notify both the court and the opposing attorney immediately).

Managing coherence

The first part of a paragraph² introduces an issue and the last part discusses it	ISSUE	DISCUSSION
Coherence improves when main points are at the end of the issue or, alternatively, at the end of the discussion	point	(point)

Coherence refers to a sense of consistency in the text, a sense that ideas are consistent and relate to each other, and that all parts in the text are connected in a proper way and amount to the same topic. The following principles help achieve coherence:

Use consistent topic strings
Use thematic strings
Announce topics and themes in a predictable location
Have a clear point
Announce your point in a predictable location
Make everything relevant to your point
Make the organization of your text clear
Motivate your readers to read purposefully

1. Use consistent topic strings

The beginning of each sentence acts as the topic of the sentence, as readers expect to know what the sentence is about from the start. For greater coherence, however, the most important is the cumulative effect of the sequences of topics in the paragraph (i.e. the coherence of its topic strings). You can achieve greater coherence by following these tips:

Keep topics consistent along the paragraph using a limited number of topic strings. This allows you to create coherence at paragraph levels.

E.g.1 When I bumped into Tom I dropped my glass and (I) spilled the juice. (Instead of, When Tom and I bumped, my glass dropped, and the juice spilled.)

E.g.2 Readers look for the topics of sentences to tell them what a whole passage is about. If they feel that its sequence of topics focuses on a limited set of related topics, then they will feel they are moving through that passage from a cumulative coherent point of view. But if topics seem to shift randomly, then readers have to begin each sentence from no coherent point of view, and when that happens, they feel dislocated, disoriented, and the passage seems out of focus. (Instead of, The particular ideas toward the beginning of sentences define what a passage is about for a reader. Moving through a paragraph from a cumulatively coherent point of view is made possible by a sequence of topics that seems to constitute a limited set of related ideas. A seeming absence of context for each sentence is one consequence of making random shifts in topics. Feelings of dislocation, disorientation, and lack of focus in a passage occur when that happens.)

2. Use thematic strings

Thematic strings are a second string of consistent ideas that typically compliment and expand the ideas expressed by the topics. Themes usually appear in the stress position of a sentence. although they can also be topics or modify topics.

E.g.1 Clark's practice of carefully mapping every fossil made it possible to follow the evolutionary development of various types through time. Beautiful sequences of antelopes, giraffes and elephants were obtained; new species evolving out of old and appearing in younger strata. In short, evolution was taking place before the eyes of the surveyors, and they could time it. - In this paragraph, there are four themes: actions of the surveyors, type of fossils, evolution and time.

E.g.2 When the Oppenheimer committee advised President Truman to stop the hydrogen bomb project, Truman had to consider not just scientific issues, but also how developing tensions between the US and the USSR were influencing domestic politics. When the Russians and the Chinese proclaimed a hostile Sino-Soviet bloc, the Cold War became a political issue. At the same time, Truman was losing Republican support for his foreign policy. (Instead of, Truman had many issues to factor into his decision about the Oppenheimer committee's scientific recommendation to stop the hydrogen bomb project. A Sino-Soviet block had been proclaimed; the Cold War was developing; Republican leaders were withdrawing support for his foreign policy…)

More tips on themes:

Have thematic strings. A paragraph without one or several thematic strings will feel empty.
Make themes explicit. A reader may feel a passage is unfocused if the theme is only implicit or if the writer does not clarify how apparently unrelated concepts go together.
Avoid using multiple synonyms for each them. If you use several words for one concept, you risk making your reader think you mean different concepts.

3. Announce topics and themes explicitly in the issue

A paragraph or text can be divided into two sections: the issue (which introduces the ideas that the paragraph or text will discuss) and the discussion (which discusses those ideas). Although the first sentence of a paragraph can introduce the issue, it is also common that a few supporting sentences (or paragraphs or sections) precede the sentence that announce the real issue. In any case, readers expect to find in the issue the topics and key themes that will be discussed.

You achieve greater coherence if you announce your topics and themes in the stress position of the sentence (or last sentence in a group of sentences) that announces the issue of the paragraph (or text).

E.g.1 Clark's practice of carefully mapping every fossil made it possible to follow the evolutionary development of various types through time. - Readers will expect the discussion to be about the topic of evolution, including themes such as actions by the author or his team (follow), species (various types), actions by the species (development) and time (time).

E.g.2 Clark made it possible to follow the evolutionary development of various types through time because he mapped every fossil carefully. - Readers will expect the discussion to be about the topic of mapping fossils, including themes such as mapping techniques (mapping), mapping ethics (carefully), and fossils (fossil).

4. Have clear points

The point of a paragraph or section is the claim or central idea that underlies our writing. Many times, the point is not made explicit, even when readers expect to find a sentence that will be the logical, argumentative, expository center of such idea.

For greater coherence, have a clear point for your paragraph or section. The point should be a clear sentence that explicitly announces the central idea of that paragraph or section.

5. Announce points explicitly at the end of the issue or at the end of the discussion

Readers expect to find the point of a paragraph or text either at the end of the issue or, less often, at the end of the discussion. A writer will place the point at the end of the discussion when he wants to develop his argument fully before making his claim, or, typically, when he intends to explore that point in the following series of paragraphs.

You achieve greater coherence if you announce your point in the stress position of the sentence (or last sentence in a group of sentences) that announces the issue of the paragraph (or section).
If you are using a paragraph as the issue of a section (i.e. you are going to discuss the issue in the following paragraphs), then place your point at the end of that paragraph (notice that this is still the end of the issue).
If you intend to develop an argument in order to arrive to a logical claim, then you can also achieve coherence by announcing your point at the end of the discussion.

More tips on points:

When we see a point in the introduction, we can judge the relevance of everything that follows. If we can't see the relevance of what we read, we may judge the text to be incoherent. Thus, it is a good idea to state the main point early, at the end of the introduction.
The point for a whole piece of writing can be called its thesis, and this thesis can also made explicit in the introduction to the whole piece of writing. Typically, the thesis is one of three:
- You describe information that your readers will find in what follows. E.g. In this report, we describe programs run by several colleges to educate first-year students in the risks of binge drinking.
- You want to make the reader understand or believe something. E.g. A tendency toward binge drinking by first-year college students appears to correlate with a tendency toward risk-taking.
- You want to make a claim proposing that the reader (or someone) do something. E.g. To manage the problem of binge drinking by first-year college students, colleges must educate first-year students about its risks.

6. Make everything relevant to your point

Readers will judge parts of a piece of writing to be relevant to its main point (or to its subpoints) if they think those parts are any of these:
- Background/contextual information on the topic.
- A reason supporting the main point.
- Evidence, facts or data supporting a reason.
- An explanation of complex ideas.
- An explanation of your reasoning or methods.
- Consideration of other points of view.
- Personal reflection on any of this.

7. Make the organization of your text clear

Typically there are 3 ways of organizing information:
- Coordination, using entries like "There are three reasons why…", "First…", "Second…", "Third…"; or ''also", "another", "more important", etc.
- Chronology, using temporal referents such as "first…", then…", "finally…"; or cause-effect chains with "as a result…", "because of that…", etc.
- Logic, using logical referents such as "for example…", "in contrast…", "therefore…", "consequently…", etc.
You can also organize information with headings and subheadings.

8. Motivate your readers to read purposefully

Once you motivate your readers to read purposefully, they will work hard to find the coherence in what you write. We are more motivated to read purposefully when we read about a problem that we care about. Overall, there are two kinds of problems: pragmatic problems and conceptual problems.

Pragmatic problems are those problems that need a solution to get resolved. Thus, we pay attention if a pragmatic problem is of concern to us and if a solution is offered.
- To define a pragmatic problem fully, you have to name both its condition and its costs. This type of problems require answering one or more "So what?" questions to the costs of the condition, up to the point where a reader may want to hear a solution to the problem.
- The solution to a pragmatic problem answers the question "What do we do?"

E.g. Drinking has been part of college life for centuries. But a style of drinking known as "binge" drinking, drinking to get intoxicated quickly, is spreading. _condition [So what?] Bingeing is far from harmless. It is cited in deaths from alcohol poisoning, falls and car crashes. _{cost 1} [So what?] It crosses the line from fun to recklessness that kills and injures not just drinkers but those around them. _{cost 2} [What do we do?] We cannot end it, but we can control its worst costs by educating students in managing its risks. _solution

Conceptual problems are those problems that represent something that we don't know or understand, but that only require understanding, rather than a solution. These are rather "academic" problems.
- To define a conceptual problem fully, you have to name both its unknown condition and the direct consequences of not knowing it. This type of problems require answering one or more "So what if you never find out?" question, up to the point where a reader may want to understand the problem better.
- The resolution to a conceptual problem answers the question "What have you find out?"

E.g. We don't know how many stars are in the sky. _{condition/first thing not known} [So what if you never find out?] Until we do, we can't know something more important: does the universe have enough gravity to hold it together? _{second thing not known} [So what if you never find out?] If we don't know whether the universe has enough gravity to hold it together, then we can't answer a more important question yet: will the universe one day cease to exist? _{third thing not known} [What have you find out?] Our study has found that…

Managing emphasis

By beginning sentences with known information (as topics), you automatically place new and more interesting information at the end of the sentence (as stress). Yet, that stress can be further enhanced. Here are some tips to manage the emphasis provided by the stress.

Shift important information to the right, towards the end of the sentence.

E.g. Just as confused are those questions relating to the ideal system for providing instruction in home computers. (Instead of, Those questions relating to the ideal system for providing instruction in home computers are just as confused.)

Shift less important information to the left (either after the verb or at the beginning of the sentence).

E.g. No one can explain in a few words why that first primeval superatom exploded and thereby created the universe. (Instead of, No one can explain why the first primeval superatom exploded and thereby created the universe in a few words.)

Trim the end of unnecessary words, thus leaving the important information in the stressed position.

E.g. Sociobiologists are making the provocative claim that our genes largely determine our social behaviour. (Instead of, Sociobiologists are making the provocative claim that our genes largely determine our social behaviour in the way we act in situations we find around us every day.)

Break long sentences, if necessary.
Avoid ending a sentence with metadiscourse.

E.g. The opportunities we offer are, it must be remembered, particularly rich at the graduate level. (Instead of, The opportunities we offer are particularly rich at the graduate level, it must be remembered.)

More tips on stress:

A there is/are-" sentence lets you introduce in its stress the topics for the following sentences or paragraph.

E.g. There are a few grammatical patterns that add weight to the end of the sentence. (More emphatic than, A few grammatical patterns add weight to the end of the sentence.)

A what- sentence puts emphasis on the predicate of the linking verb.

E.g. What this country needs is a monetary policy to end fluctuations. (More emphatic than, This country needs a monetary policy to end fluctuations.)

It as a fill-in subject allows you to shift a long subject to the predicate.

E.g. It once seemed inevitable that domestic oil prices must eventually rise to the level set by OPEC. (More emphatic than, That domestic oil prices must eventually rise to the level set by OPEC once seemed inevitable.)

It can also be used to both emphasize a topic and throw added weight to the stress.

E.g. It was in 1933 that this country experienced a depression that almost wrecked our democratic system of government. (More emphatic than, In 1933 this country experienced a depression that almost wrecked our democratic system of government.)

Managing sentence length

Coordination

Coordination (with and, but, yet, or or ",") is most graceful in the predicate. Three things to keep in mind are the following:

Design coordination so that shorter coordinated elements go before longer ones.

E.g. Although the inventors
…were hostile to the idea of democracy
……and believed profoundly in
………the sacredness of property
………and the necessary dignity of those who owned it,
…they did not like the idea of
……king,
……duke,
……marquess,
……earl.

Avoid faulty parallelism

E.g. These news persuade us that the corporation supports environmentalism but not that we should buy its products. (Instead of, These news persuade us that the corporation supports environmentalism but not to buy its frivolous products.)

Avoid lost or unclear connections

E.g. Every teacher ought to remind himself that his students are vulnerable to those ego-bruising moments that adults have learned to cope with, to remind himself that those students do not understand that one day they will become as confident and as secure as the adults that bruise them. (Instead of, Every teacher ought to remind himself that his students are vulnerable to those ego-bruising moments that adults have learned to cope with, and that they do not understand that one day they will become as confident and as secure as the adults that bruise them.)

Subordination

Resumptive modifiers end a segment of a sentence with a comma, then repeat a key word close to the end of that clause in order to elaborate on what went before.

E.g.1 For several years, Columbia developed situation comedies that were the best that American TV had to offer, comedies such as "All in the Family", comedies that sparkled with wit and invention. - Resumptive modifier using nouns.

E.g.2 It was American writers who first used a vernacular that was both true and lyrical, true to the rhythms of the working man's speech, lyrical in its celebration of the land. -Resumptive modifiers using adjectives.

E.g.3 Humans have been defined by some as the only animal that can laugh at grief, laugh at the pain and tragedy that define their fate. -Resumptive modifier with verbs.

Summative modifiers end a segment of a sentence with a comma, then sum up in a noun or noun phrase what you have just said, and then continue with a relative clause.

E.g. In the last five years, European population growth has dropped to almost zero, a demographic event that in years to come will have profound social implications.

Free modifiers follow the verb but comments on its subject (it usually makes more specific what you assert in the preceding clause that you attach it to).

E.g. Leonardo da Vinci was a man of powerful intellect, driven by an insatiable curiosity and haunted by a vision of artistic expression. (I.e. Da Vinci was driven by curiosity and he was haunted by a vision.)

Momentum

Grammatical connections. Keep the distance subject-verb close, especially with long clauses.

E.g. Because scientists the world over deliberately write in a style that is aloof, impersonal, and objective, they have difficulty communicating with laypeople. (Instead of, Scientist the world over, because they deliberately write in a style that is aloof, impersonal, and objective, have difficulty communicating with laypeople.)

Smallest connections. You can avoid even the smallest hitch in the rhythm of a sentence by preventing adjectives splitting from their modifying phrases.

E.g. We are facing a decision more serious than what you described here. (Instead of, We are facing a more serious decision than what you described here.)

Problems with modifiers

Convert dangling modifiers into free modifiers. Dangling modifiers have different subjects to the clauses that follow them.

E.g. In order for us to contain the epidemic, the area was sealed off. (Instead of, In order to contain the epidemic the area was sealed off.)

Avoid misplaced modifiers. These are modifiers that seem to modify two things, or the wrong thing.

E.g. We entirely failed to understand the problem. Or, We failed to understand entirely the problem. (Instead of, We failed entirely to understand the problem.)

Avoid misplaced pronouns.

E.g. A physician must never forget that his patients are vitally concerned about their treatment and their prognosis, but that they are often unwilling to ask for fear of what he will say. (Instead of, Physicians must never forget that their patients are vitally concerned about their treatment and their prognosis, but that they are often unwilling to ask for fear of what they will say.)

Writing with concision

There are two overall rules for writing with concision:

Use the fewest words possible to say what you mean.
Don't state what the reader can easily infer.

More tips on concision:

Eliminate redundant pairs

E.g. This is a true depiction of the problem. (Instead of, This is a true and accurate depiction of the problem.)

Eliminate redundant modifiers (adjectives, adverbs or prepositions)

E.g. The research is finished. (Instead of, The research is completely finished.)

Eliminate redundant categories implied by more specific words

E.g.1 During that time, the mucous membrane became pink and shiny. (Instead of, During that period of time, the mucous membrane area became pink in color and shiny in appearance.)

E.g.2 The holes must be accurately aligned. (Instead of, The holes must be aligned in an accurate manner.)

Eliminate meaningless modifiers

E.g. American industrial productivity depends more on psychology than on thechnology. (Instead of, For all intents and purposes, American industrial productivity generally depends on certain factors that are really more psychological in kind than of any given technological aspect.)

Replace unnecessary formal (pompous) words with more common ones

E.g. As the memo said… (Instead of, Pursuant to the recent memorandum…)

Avoid stating what is obvious

E.g. Imagine someone trying to learn the rules of chess. (Instead of, Imagine a picture of someone engaged in the activity of trying to learn the rules for playing the game of chess.)